


Know Your Enemy

by alittlegreenrosetta



Series: Countertransference [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:42:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlegreenrosetta/pseuds/alittlegreenrosetta
Summary: “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”― Sun Tzu, The Art of WarThe Joker is caught by Batman while getting a little gift for Harley. On the way to Arkham he realizes just how simple it would be to know the man's true identity and how complicated the repercussions of having that knowledge would be.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ilmethll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilmethll/gifts).



The Joker hadn’t meant to get caught, though perhaps he didn't try to avoid it quite as hard as he usually would have. He couldn't deny that he had been more than a little curious about the Batman ever since he met Harley Quinn and knew of her obsession with the vigilante. At first, back when he was still Dr. Jack Napier, he had believed in her claims to want to kill Gotham's dark knight. It hadn't taken very many sessions for him to understand that this was the only case where Harley didn't actually want to kill someone she claimed murderous intentions towards. From then on Batman's role in Harley's life confused him. After he had become the Joker he had learned to keep that confusion locked away in the "Thoughts that Jack Napier Would Have" section of his brain. It was a very tiny part of his psyche that held all the remnants of the personality he'd been born with. As Harley Quinn's lover and partner in crime he knew that he was expected to play a part, that of hating and trying to kill Batman without trying too hard and actually succeeding. In the beginning he was so delirious with happiness to be with Harley that nothing else penetrated very far into his thoughts but as time went by he started having feelings about Batman that weren't Harley approved. His hatred for the Batman was all too real and that led to frustration over the not killing him part. Just to make things a little more uncomfortable the whole thing had a sharp stab of jealousy thrown in as well. Harley had never shown any romantic inclination towards Batman but the Joker felt certain that the vigilante was the one person Harley would never kill and that status was hard not to resent. 

That resentment built up and eventually it wasn’t enough to just exchange a few blows with the Bat while Harley escaped from the scene of their latest caper or, even worse, to be relegated to fighting Batman’s teenage sidekick as though it were only natural that the sidekicks would fight each other. Fighting Robin might have been the greatest insult the Joker had suffered for Harley’s sake. Especially if the rumors about B-man and his side kick were true. Dr. Napier’s duty to report obligation was not a part of the Joker’s persona but instead he found himself wanting to beat the child to death himself. Maybe with a baseball bat. No…a crow bar? It didn’t matter, Harley wouldn’t have let him have that much fun all to himself. If the kid died it would be at her hands and for her amusement, not to give the Joker a little of his pride back after having felt for even a moment that he and the Brat Wonder were of equal value in Gotham’s world of heroes and villains. But tonight Robin hadn’t been there and neither had Harley. Batman had found the Joker causing mischief all on his own. He was not consciously hoping Batman would find him but he was also not taking any trouble to keep his break in of the jewelry store a secret. He told himself he was just looking for something special for Harley. Just a coincidence really that a priceless diamond necklace belonging to Hollywood royalty was being stored there while the actress was in Gotham for a fundraiser. It was certainly a surprise to the Joker that Batman would bother to protect the baubles of the rich and famous. It could have been GCPD that caught him instead, though that would have turned out very differently. He would have been gone before they’d even told him to come out with his hands in the air.

Instead it had been the Bat and when he’d started fighting the Joker something inside the clown just gave up a little and accepted the loss because there were things he was curious about that he couldn’t learn with Harley in the mix. He’d taken a decent slug to the jaw and barely fought back as Batman restrained him and shoved him into the passenger seat of the Batmobile. That was the first piece of information to take in. From the outside the car looked expensive and seemed to have no end of gadgets and solutions built into it but from the inside the Joker could see that the technology involved was not just cutting edge but years ahead of anything else out there. It was the sort of thing that the military only dreamed of. What did that say about the identity of the man sitting next to him in the driver’s seat? He turned his attention to the actual man himself. It was the first time he’d had a chance to really look at the Dark Knight up close, during a fight he was busy trying to guess the man’s next move not discern the shape of his face. But sitting this close to him the man’s features were shockingly exposed. His lips, teeth, skin tone, ridiculously square jaw; it was all right there to learn and recognize again without the mask over the top half of his face.

“You know, you don’t exactly take great pains to hide the lower half of your face. It wouldn’t take much effort at all to recognize that jaw and put two and two together.” The Joker speculated aloud.

“No one ever has. People see what they want to see.” The Batman growled out at him without turning to look at the clown in his passenger seat.

“Hmm, perhaps you don’t see a lot of other people. To keep the hours you do, take the risks you take. Plus your fondness for spending time with young boys. You must be single. And maybe you don’t like to call attention to yourself. It might lead to questions.” It was a cheap bit of innuendo but the Joker could see Batman’s grip tighten around the steering wheel in anger. Every reaction gave him an answer.

“Then again perhaps attention is hard to avoid. With this car and all your other expensive gadgets? Maybe you’ve got some of the other crooks around town fooled into thinking you just like to tinker out in the garage and make these fun crime fighting toys but I know better. A set up like this either takes the financial security of many millions, even billions of dollars or the sponsorship of someone with that sort of money. Either way money like that gets attention. It’s a wonder that someone hasn’t run your mug through some face recognition program by now. Of course most of the people who care who Batman is are either too crazy or too dumb to use a computer. It does make you wonder what the Riddler does with his time though. Me, I’m not good with computers. They drive me insane. Ha, ha, ha! But I am good with faces and I can certainly put two and two together.”

The Joker could feel the answer tickling the back of his brain. It was right there if he just focused. Batman turned his eyes from the road and stared at the Joker as though he was daring him to take a guess. It was hard to turn down a challenge like that. Then he thought about Harley and how she would react if the secret was out. And that little stab of jealousy hit the Joker hard and scared him away from acknowledging the truth of Batman’s real identity. Harley might not have romantic feelings for Bats but he was the other man in her life and their relationship status had been marked “It’s complicated” long before Jack Napier had come into the picture. It suddenly seemed much safer not to know. People see what they want to see. That was too simple. People see what they need to see to get from one moment to the next. In this particular case the Joker would choose to remain blind as a bat. The play on words made him want to giggle but the reason behind it kept him sober enough to control his urge to laugh and focus on the eyes of the man staring at him. Again he had to actively choose not to remember and recognize them.

He held the vigilante’s gaze but not to confront him about his identity. Instead he squeezed the trigger in his glove that caused a spray of purple fluid to shoot out of the flower on his lapel and straight into Batman’s face. Before the full effects of the chemicals could be felt Batman had the forethought of mind to stop the car so they didn’t both die in the fiery crash of a multimillion dollar wonder car. Then the laughter started. This wasn’t like his original laughing gas, Batman wouldn’t die though he might wish he was dead before the laughter stopped. He’d certainly be hurting for days afterward. But mostly he’d just laugh a deep, roaring, gut busting laugh. It was so incongruous to see the usually humorless man guffawing and clutching his sides. The Joker couldn’t help his own laughter at the sight before beginning the process of getting out of his batcuffs. It wasn’t easy but he was clever and resourceful and out of other options. Going to Arkham as a patient was definitely not going to happen. So after a while he freed himself and began to look for a way out of the car. Because you couldn’t design a car like this and then have something as boring as a normal latch to open it with.

Finally finding how to open the door he turned back to Batman and looked at him, red faced and crying from the painful belly laughs the Joker’s trick was forcing out of him. He knew who this man was. All he had to do was let his brain say the name, but that was not going to happen. Instead his pulled a gun out and pressed it against the laughing man’s temple. It would be so easy to just end this right now, he could almost feel the joy and relief washing over him. Then he imagined how it would affect Harley and for the first time in a long time he felt truly afraid. He knew exactly how the love of his life would take the death of her nemesis, particularly at someone else’s hands. Especially at his hand. She’d never forgive him. And nothing was worth losing Harley over, no matter how much he hated the Batman. Whatever jealously he felt about Harley’s relationship with the Bat was a feeling he would need to befriend and learn to love because as long as he was with Harley that feeling would be there. Batman claimed to never kill anyone but people died as an indirect result of his actions all the time. Harley claimed to want nothing more than to see the vigilante dead but time after time the world’s greatest super villain failed in her supposed ultimate goal despite killing hundreds of other people in the attempts. At the core there was a similarity between the two that couldn’t be denied and if the Joker truly loved everything about Harley he’d have to learn to love this too.  He lowered the gun with a sad sigh and then got out of the car. He proceeded to shoot out all four of the Batmobile’s tires before starting to walk away. It would give him a better chance of getting away and it helped ease some of the frustrated anger he felt full of. You could love something and still hate it and he would always hate the connection between his lover and her nemesis. He’d never work against Harley or defy her orders but he would take his pleasure in making things hard for the Batman every chance he got.

The Joker didn’t have to walk far before he found a car to boost and then returned to the hideout, still feeling a bit gloomy but cheered by the sight of the home he shared with Harley. Whatever feelings Batman had about Harley they would never result in satisfaction. He would never know what it felt like to get what he wanted from her. All Jack Napier had wanted was to be in her presence, to please her and help her in any way that he could. The Joker had been bold enough to even want her love. Harley might not be as open with her feelings as he would like but he knew she loved him, there had been too many signs and gestures to deny it. The thought of how much he had, how lucky it was that things were not at all complicated about his feelings for Harley, pushed away the last stinging pangs of jealousy and made him feel warm and happy. The sound of the hyenas laughing and Harley screaming with rage were the background score that filled his heart with joy as he opened the door to their home. Silence could be worrisome here, gun shots a sign that he should probably go back the way he came if he didn’t want to deal with some serious moodiness but screaming at the goons meant all was right with the world. Or that’s what he assumed until he got inside and realized the screaming was about him. Harley was bawling out the current crop of goons about letting the Joker go out and get scooped up in a butterfly net and sent off to Arkham. He didn’t have time to announce his return before Harley had raised her oversized mallet and started beating a goon to death.

Harley’s crew members were generally big, strong and dumb. They never lasted long and so the Joker never managed to learn their names. Instead he just mentally referred to them by whatever physical characteristic most stood out to him about them. In front of Harley stood Baldy, Big Nose and Nine Fingers until the mallet slammed down and Baldy’s head with a loud thunk and the man crumpled to the ground. Most likely he was unconscious for the majority of the beating which was good because Harley got in a pretty high number of painful body shots before she set about crushing his skull in. Watching Harley beat someone to death was always a beautiful sight. Not because he had some bloodthirsty desire for gore, it was just that her face lit up so beautifully and her eyes sparkled with glee. The little sounds of exertion she made coupled with her mad giggling always got his cock hard but then the triumphant sound she made when she was pleased with the utter annihilation of the person she was beating made him want to cheer for her and find her another victim, his own desire forgotten until Harley’s own libido overtook her blood lust and they usually did their best to find a dark corner or make their way to their bedroom before Harley celebrated her kill with a passionate display of desire that left the Joker dizzy and swooning for hours. So as soon as she was done with her kill, he made his presence known hoping for her to jump into his arms for a passionate kiss. Instead she looked up at him with a look of surprise though she quickly covered that up with a look of annoyance.

“Puddin’! What are you doing here? I heard that Bats had you on the way to a padded cell in Arkahm.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously while she waited for his answer, perhaps wondering who had betrayed her, the person who told her he’d been caught or her lover himself by killing her rival in order to escape from him.

“Oh well, it’s true that Batsy took me on a little joy ride in his fancy car but I gave him such a good laugh that he let me go. He’s probably still sitting by the side of the road laughing about it now if you’d like to go have a chat with him about interrupting my shopping trip when I was looking for something pretty for you.” The Joker watched her eyes relax and her look turn to approval as she read all the meaning into his words that he had intended.

“You better not have come home empty handed, I was so annoyed that you had gotten caught that I had to kill…” Harley snapped her fingers as thought trying to remember the goon’s name so the Joker piped up with his nickname for the man.

“Baldy.”

“Overbite.” Poison Ivy suggested from over on the sofa where she was reading a scientific journal on botany and pretending not to be interested in what was happening. Apparently she had the same naming technique for the crew that the Joker did but different features caught her eye.

“Let’s go with Baldy, I’m pretty sure I fixed his overbite with my mallet.” Harley said with a giggle. “Now where’s my present!”

The Joker laughed at her impatient desire for whatever he might have brought for her. The woman had robbed banks, museums, even fucking military weapon installations but she wanted a shiny bauble to prove he’d been doing something for her. He loved her greedy little heart. So he played with her just a bit by taking out a set of three red rubber balls and juggling them in front of her. She watched him closely, looking like a snake about to strike out and capture a rat in its jaws but waiting for just the right moment. He added an open switch blade to the mix and watched her eyes light up at the element of danger that had just come in to play and then finally a ruby the size of an egg entered the circle of juggling items, sparkling in the light like it was on fire. Only an idiot like Batman would think he would steal a sophisticated and tasteful diamond necklace for Harley. Harley saw no point in elegance or taste. She wanted fun and fire and drama. There was no tasteful way to wear this ruby, it was really a museum piece, a curiosity in its large and ostentatious existence. It was perfect. Once its sparkling surface was visible the villainess started jumping up and down and clapping with excitement. After a few spins around in the air the Joker caught the jewel and presented it to her with a flourish. 

“Oh Puddin’! I love it! It looks like blood set on fire! Huh, I wonder if you can set blood on fire…” Harley’s voice drifted off as she looked at the pool of Baldy’s blood on the ground in front of her.

“NO! It doesn’t fucking burn Harley, don’t try it!” Pam shouted quickly, knowing exactly where her roommate’s thoughts were headed.  Poison Ivy didn’t try to keep Harley’s destructive tendencies under control much but fire would be a true danger to her plants and there was nothing she valued more.

“Gee, Red, I was just funnin’. Like I wouldn’t have already tried that before!” Harley’s laugh rang out and as she turned to go upstairs to their bedroom the Joker didn’t need to be told to follow, he followed behind with the sound of her laughter pulling him along like the pied piper’s song. He could hear Ivy yelling at the other goons to clean up their dead cohort but it sounded a million miles away as he walked along under Harley's spell.

As soon as he entered the room he saw that Harley had picked up her baseball bat and was tossing the large ruby he’d brought her up in the air. With a strong swing she hit the jewel and sent it flying through across the room until it lodged itself in the plaster of the opposite wall. The Joker just laughed, the only value a gift really had was in pleasing Harley; the ruby had done its job. His harlequin laughed as well and seemed truly happy with the sparkling gem’s new location. Her laughter abruptly stopped and she swung her bat out to tap the Joker on the shoulder, her more than human strength pushed him back across the room, he stumbled but managed to stay on his feet. He looked at Harley questioningly, unsure of whether she was unhappy with him or not. Another thrust of the bat against his opposite shoulder had his back slamming against the wall next to the ruby he had brought her as a gift. Harley walked slowly towards him swinging her bat back and forth as though she might be planning to use it to do some real damage but hadn’t decided yet. The Joker had long ago learned not to show fear in these moments, she didn’t want his fear. She wanted his submission, his calm acceptance of anything she did or said. So that’s what he gave her. Eventually she seemed to make up her mind and tossed the bat to the side and then jumped up expecting the Joker to catch her in his arms. He did what was expected and then smiled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. The Joker leaned in to kiss her when she grabbed his hair and slammed his head into the wall. Harley’s mixed messages had his head spinning more than the blow but it also had his cock hard and throbbing.

“Puddin’? You spent some real time with Bats tonight, what did you learn?” Her eyes narrowed and looked suspicious.

“I learned that his car is fucking hard to get out of. Why not just have door handles like every other car? Was there something else I should have learned?” He didn’t give her a challenging look or anything that would suggest that he was being less than honest with her but this talk about Batman was causing that jealousy to start slapping his heart around again. He was more than ready to move on to something more pleasant so he thrust his hips up to press his hardness against Harley’s center and hopefully tempt her to something more fun for both of them.

“If you were able to get away why didn’t you kill him?” She was continuing to talk about the Bat but her voice was drifting a bit by the end of her question and she had started rubbing herself against his erection. It was hard to think of an answer to her question like this but he did his best.

“Kill him? I was lucky to get away with my life, I think you’re the only one who can kill the Batman.” He didn’t have to lie to her, it was true. If anyone could kill the Batman it was her, he just left out his own personal belief that she never would. And his reward for the right answer was a smile and a slap across the face.

“And don’t you forget it, Puddin’!” She said with a laugh and then before he had even shaken off the hard slap he felt Harley undo his pants. She pulled aside her panties and then with nothing close to foreplay slammed her pussy down onto his shaft. It would have hurt if she wasn’t so wet and ready for him already that his cock slid into her opening easily.

Once the Joker was inside her he tried kissing Harley but she was apparently not having it, instead she pushed his face against the wall and held it there as she bit and licked at his neck and ears and jawline. He felt a hard bite on his chest just below his shoulder but rather than hurting him it just turned him on more. There would be a bruise in the morning that he knew he would poke at and feel a fresh wave of arousal at the memory of how he had received it. Harley bounced up and down on his cock and other than holding on to her and making sure he didn’t fall over, it was clear that he was supposed to stand there and take it. That should have been no problem but with every rise and fall the muscles of Harley’s pussy gripped and massaged his length in a way that felt like she was trying to milk the come out of him. It was all he could do to control himself and not beg her to let him explode inside of her. Harley’s occasional slaps and bites weren’t helping anything. Neither were the moans and almost animalistic growling sounds she was making. Within minutes of starting to ride him she was soon panting and crying out with what sounded like an intense orgasm that ended with her gripping his hair hard, pulling his head to the side and leaving a vicious bite where his shoulder and neck met.

As Harley stopped bouncing up and down but was still moaning in pleasure the Joker tried thrusting into her to find his own release but he’d only just begun when she lifted herself off of him and jumped down to the ground. He stood there with his dick hard and slippery in the cool air of the room instead of inside her warmth but only for a moment before he felt Harley’s hand start stroking his cock with a firm grip. Her other hand went to his throat and kept him pinned against the wall. He very much liked feeling that he was at her mercy and couldn’t get away from her. She stared into his eyes while she pulled and squeezed his cock, it was very clear that this was an act of dominance. He loved every second of it. And it was only seconds before he felt the buildup of pressure give way to the pleasure of coming for Harley. Her grip was still forceful as she stroked out every last drop of jizz. After the rough fucking and then the dominating act that was that hand job the Joker felt all wrung out and ready to collapse. Harley let him go and he nearly slid down the wall to sit on the ground but he somehow kept on his feet though his legs felt wobbly. Harley was looking over at the ruby he’d brought home to her thoughtfully.

“Thank you for my gift. Now I want to give you a present too.” She sounded strange, very sincere and well, dare he say it, sane? She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his softly. Instead of pulling away after the gentle kiss she deepened it. The kiss felt like she was trying to put every bit of emotion she might have for him into this one romantic gesture. The warmth of her lips, the softness of her tongue, the taste of her; it all made his head feel sort of flippity floppity. When she pulled away he wrapped his arms quickly around her and just held her quietly. He knew that this wouldn’t go on for long but he’d felt like Harley Quinn had just sworn her undying love for him in that kiss and it made him so happy he could barely think much rather speak.

“You know what I feel like doing, Puddin’?” Harley asked, her voice muffled against his chest until she pulled back and looked up at him. He shook his head no and waited for her to tell him.

“I want to go kill Batman! I’ll bet he’s still where you left him!” Her eyes sparkled and she started looking around the room for the appropriate weapons to take with her. The Joker fixed his clothes and watched Harley prepare for her next attempt at killing the Bat. Of course Batman wouldn't still be there, they both knew that.

The Joker had realized earlier in the Batmobile that he could never allow himself to know who Batman was but it didn’t matter. He knew who Harley Quinn was and would always be, Batman’s arch nemesis and greatest rival. You couldn’t have one without the other. And he knew who he was. He was Harley’s, entirely and endlessly hers. That was all he needed to know.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


End file.
